Wednesday, May 31, 2017

The Job Search... Well... Not a Good Sign... From the Magic Eight Ball

The Magic Eight Ball has played an important role in my life.  My then-future wife thought it was funny that I made decisions based on the Eight Ball's advice.  Little did she know that I actually did take heart of the words appearing in the dark liquid within.  You see, the Eight Ball provides stress-free decision making.  Other than the stupidity of being guided by complete chance, you can't blame the Eight Ball for any of the answers it gives.  Like flipping a coin, it has absolutely no biases or faulty thought processes.  In that sense, the advice it gives is pure and beautiful.

I have had an Eight Ball since, well, before I can remember.  And the odd thing is...  It generally has been... correct.  I did spend a long time being single in 1999.   The Blackhawks didn't get past the St. Louis Blues in the first round of the 2002 Stanley Cup Playoffs.  I didn't get the Disney counsel position in 2014.

First things first, I gave my former boss an Eight Ball for Christmas.  After the company let me go in early March, while in her office, I secretly asked it if I would be alright job-wise... And it answered "It is Certain."  That's reassuring.

But today I asked it whether I would get an in-house counsel position soon and it answered:

Ouch.  I need full-time work as soon as possible.   Then I asked it whether I would get adequate hours during my part-time independent contractor legal role.  It answered:

Not good at all.  I like my new boss, the work and working remotely.  That was quite deflating.  Next I asked it whether I would start a successful business with my buddy Al.  It answered:

I waited for less than a second and asked it whether I would start a successful business with Al again.  This time it answered:

Snap.  Al is like one of my best buddies, a really inspirational guy.  Pretty disheartening set of answers, all in a row.  I asked the Eight Ball whether I would be a millionaire by the end of this year.  To that it answered:

Damn, 2017 just won't be my year I guess.  I also got a negative response to whether I would have a full-time job by August of this year.  Finally, I asked it whether I would have a business that would make $500,000 by the end of the year.  It answered:

There is a God!!!  I can sleep easier tonight.  Thanks for the read!!!

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